Now that I have seen the new Halloween movie, I can take a good look at them all, and rank them. There are quite a few good ones, but also some that are very bad. There are 11 in total, 10 that feature Michael, 4 that feature Jamie Lee Curtis, and a couple that star Danielle Harris. Let’s take a look at all of them.

11. Halloween 2 (2009)

Halloween2009
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On a whole, Ressurection is probably worse. But I just hate everything Rob Zombie did with this franchise. It looks ugly for one. Zombie frowns out the movie with muted dark colors as if that would make it grittier and scarier. The dialogue is bad, the characters are awful. Yes, Michael comes off as really badass, and it has a lot of gore, but the movie has no soul. Like normal with Zombie, it is all flash and no substance.

1/10

10. Halloween: Ressurection

Awful boring characters. A lame plot about someone trying to do a reality show in Michaels old house. Terrible dialogue, terrible effects. Just plain bad.

The mask is as ugly as ever. Michael is on screen for way too long. And I have seen better filmmaking in fan films. The worst part though is the disrespect they do to the character of Laurie Strode, by giving her a short cameo where she is a mental patient who gets killed off.

1/10

9.  Halloween (2007)

See the other Rob Zombie review. This one is a bit better, but not much. It starts with an origin for Michael. He had an abusive childhood you see, and that is why he kills. Dumb. The first half just ugly, and the second half is almost an exact copy of the original, only it sucks.

2/10

8. Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers

Paul Rudd is about the only interesting part of this movie. The rest is utter crap. An awful new twist to the franchise about a Michael Myers Cult. Some really weird crap with the baby of Jamie Llyod. The film was hampered by a bunch of reshoots as well.

3/10

7. Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers

It ruined a good twist at the end of 4, and beyond that, some of the movie is just embarrassing. For one, there is this nonsense.

Ignore the clips that follow the first clip. Those sound effects happen every time those two cops appear on the screen. It is one thing to have bumbling cops, but to actually give those cops sound effects like that? Embarrassing.

Nothing in the movie is scary. The gore is super tame with no interesting kills. The visuals are just ugly. It is just a bad movie.

3/10

6. Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers

Halloween4poster
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After Season of the Witch bombed, they brought Michael back. But this time, instead of Jamie Lee being the final girl, it was a young Danielle Harris as the character Jamie, who is the daughter of Laurie, who died off screen.

It has flaws, but compared to some of the moves that would follow, it is great. It has no weird plot twists about some cult devoted to Michael. No random stranger in black parading around the movie for no reason. It is just a straightforward slasher.

For a child actor, Harris does great as a horror movie icon. The mask Michael wears is a bit cheesy, but since the mask gets even worse in some of the following movies, that can be forgiven.

What I really love is the ending, with young Jamie following in her uncle’s footsteps by killing her own mom at the end of the movie. They ruin the plot twist in the next movie, but if you just watch this one, the twist still works.

5.5/10

 

5. Halloween: H20

The return of Laurie Strode. It is to no one’s surprise that this was the best Halloween movie in a long time.

It is not perfect and the non-Jamie Lee Curtis characters, namely her character’s son and his girlfriend. But every scene with Jamie Lee Curtis or with Michael is very good. It has some great kills and a great atmosphere. It should have been a fantastic end to the franchise, with Laurie finally killing Michael, but that got retconned by Ressurection.

6/10

4. Halloween 3: Season of the Witch

The only Halloween movie that does not feature Michael Myers. Because it bombed at the box office, and because it has no Mike, many assume it is not any good. But despite it being bonkers, and at times hard to follow, it is still a joy to watch.

The premise is this company wants to brainwash and kill all of the children in the world by selling them cursed masks that will melt the kid’s skulls when worn while a certain commercial plays.

I respect a movie that has the balls to kill a little kid. Especially in such a brutal way, with insects pouring out of his skull.

6/10

3. Halloween 2 (1981)

Halloween_II_(1981)_theatrical_poster
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A very direct sequel to the original movie. Literally picking up right where the original leaves off. After failing to kill Laurie in the first one, Michael tracks her to a hospital, where he continues his rampage.

It is not quite as suspenseful as the first, but it is still good. It is a bit gorier, which many will like. But one thing it adds that I never liked is that Michael is related to Laurie. I prefer him as the killer without motivation.

But I enjoy this movie a lot. It is not great, but as far as Slashers go, it is solid. It has Jamie Lee Curtis in it still, which is an automatic bonus. Laurie Strode remains to this day the best Final Girl in cinema history. Partly because she survived across four different films, and always came off as looking like a badass who can fight back. Also because Jamie Lee Curtis is a great actress, and her character was never just a pretty girl to be chased by a psycho, but a rounded character.

6/10

2. Halloween (2018)

Halloween_(2018_film)_Teaser_Poster
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My review of this one can be found here.

I rank this second above Halloween 2 because while it has its issues, it is immensely entertaining. If you came for gore, you will leave satisfied. It is the best Laurie Strode has ever been.

6.5/10

1. Halloween (1978)

Is there anyone who would say differently?

The first is not always the best. The first Friday the 13th is definitely not the best one. The first Evil Dead is not the best. But in the case of Halloween, first is with no doubt best. No film in the franchise captured the atmosphere this one did. No other film had quite as grand a mystique around Michael. Others tried to give Michael a motivation, or a larger backstory. But what made Michael in the first one is he had no motivation. He was just a killer. A human that lacked any empathy. Usually this would make a character bland, and usually, I would say a backstory or motivation would improve a character, but with Michael, it just worked. The idea that a human could be so cold, was truly frightening.

The kills aren’t as impressive as they would get later, so if you go into a slasher just wanting gore, there are better options. But few slashers are this suspenseful. They truly make Michael feel like the boogyman.

7/10